There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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