She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
