I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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