and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
