I wannas sexs uuuuu
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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