white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
