I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
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Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
that is very illegal...i love you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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