Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Green mimosas i think yes
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
