My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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