I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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