Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
