Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My life is pants optional.
its liver damage thursday
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
