I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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