Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
