I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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