At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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