I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
