So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
3 2 1 whiskey
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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