She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
someone owes me an orgasm
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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