My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize