I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
