I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
nutella sex= disaster
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
