i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
