is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
