Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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