Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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