I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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