I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
