i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just gargled with NyQuil
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
