just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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