honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
