Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
