i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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