Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
