he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
