I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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