i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
