it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
