okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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