STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
