You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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