just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
