Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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