He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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