I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This is the high leading the old right now
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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