Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
