i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
