With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
