Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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