And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize
