I love black thongs
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
