just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
