I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
