So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
