2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize