i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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