we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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