He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
someone owes me an orgasm
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
