I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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