mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize