Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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