Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize